Dear Retailers / Giftmakers,

I am a man. This means that I lack the necessary genes for success in the field of ‘present wrapping’. In the future, please can you design your gifts and presents to fit into neat rectangular boxes, as I find these somewhat easier to wrap (though they’re still sufficiently challenging!) rather than the ornate moulded plastic designs in shapes which wrapping paper just wasn’t designed to cover!

Many thanks,

James.

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