Slept very uneasily last night. Woke at around 3am with terrible indigestion and heartburn. Found some Ranitidine tablets and necked one and went back to bed. Woke again around 6.30ish with the uncontrollable urge to visit the loo – great, diarrhea.

No sooner have I flushed and stood up and my head is in the bowl. I throw up four or five times – thick, dark brown chocolaty coloured puke – it certainly doesn’t taste sweet though. Almost immediately, though, my indigestion disappears! I don’t think I’ve ever threw up dark brown puke before. Great, vomiting.

All I’ve eaten in the last day or so is my Mum’s Sunday dinner – and, there’s no way that could be responsible! – and that Indian on Saturday evening. Hmmm.

If it’s a virus, Aimee hasn’t got it yet, and she’s been with me all weekend, and my Mum and sister aren’t reporting any ill feelings. I don’t feel poorly – I just cannot stray too far from a lavatory. It seems, when the urge comes, I’ve got to go. I call in sick and spend most of the day alternating between the bed and the loo. All things being equal, Id’ve rather gone to work.

I take some ‘Tescos Diarrhea Relief’ tablets (which are just Imodium (Loperamide) in disguise, really) and I am both comforted and alarmed that Loperamide’s side effects include ‘Mild Euphoria’ and something called ‘Toxic Megacolon‘ – which, I’m sure is probably also the name of a hardcore grind-metal band from Buenos Aires, and, if it’s not – it should be.

By lunchtime the drugs have stemmed the flow, however, come dinnertime and the reverse has happened, and now I can’t ‘go’. Feh. I just can’t win.

No related posts.